At least 26,000 people in Louisiana are diagnosed with cancer every year but the number of people impacted easily exceeds that number. Families, friends, coworkers and others spring into action to offer their time and support. It can be emotionally and physically challenging to balance the demands of caring for a cancer patient with the demands of everyday life.

It cannot be done alone.  Caregivers should ask for help and never feel guilty for having to take time for their own needs.  

Those were a few lessons taught at the webinar “Caring for Loved Ones with Cancer: A Guide for Families with Limited Resources,” presented by the Louisiana Campaign for Tobacco-Free Living, (TFL) a program of the Louisiana Cancer Research Center.  All four panelists, specialists in cancer and caregiving, shared their experiences caring for a loved one with the disease.

Ashanti Black, a community treatment specialist at the Federal Bureau of Prisons, juggled the demands of caring for her husband and three children at the same time. One day she was overwhelmed, trying to figure out a way to make her husband's 7:30 a.m. chemotherapy appointment and bring her young child to school at the same time. Her mother suggested she ask her neighbor to drop her daughter off.  Problem solved.  

“I was grateful and shocked all at once, because in that moment, through that experience, I learned the importance of reaching out and leaning on others and that others are willing and able,” she shared. “I don't know what that feeling is that prevents you from reaching out to ask somebody for help. Whatever that is, as a caregiver, it's important to place that to the side.”

Caregivers often struggle with their emotions while watching their loved one suffer.  Mattie Hawkins, MS, South Central Regional Manager for TFL, recounted how she was in tears over the fact that her father kept his cancer diagnosis to himself. “I had to take a step back and just realize and process that this is his journey and he's processing it differently than how we expect him to process it - just understanding that he needed to do this for himself because, for one, this is new for him too.”

NaTasha Gay, a family nurse practitioner at RKM and Southern University, emphasized the importance of being firm with a loved one undergoing cancer treatment. She was no-nonsense with her own mother when it came to taking medications and eating, telling her, “you're going to thank me in a year.”  Gay said the responsibility for effective communication with doctors falls to the caregivers. “Because in that moment in time the patient is not actually there, but there.” She offered these tips:

• Prepare for doctor appointments by writing down any symptoms or any questions. Be clear and honest about the patient’s condition.

• Ask questions to fully understand the diagnosis and treatment options.

• Listen actively.  Take notes.

• Follow up with questions, especially about prescription dosage and usage.

• Take the time to educate yourself about the condition and medications.

• Always give feedback and maintain a clear and open dialogue with your health care providers.

Nancy Gosserand, director of Cancer Services of Greater Baton Rouge, explained the multitude of free services available to qualifying patients in a 10-parish area, from nutritional supplements, medical supplies, support groups and counseling. She emphasized the importance of counseling for cancer patients and mindfulness for caregivers.

“People feel guilty as caregivers because they do, do, do, but you have to put something in your tank to keep you going and keep you as a caregiver at your best because it is trying and it can be exhausting…we're human. We can't go 24/7,” Gosserand said.

Resource List provided by TFL

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